Making A Bad Film Is Hard Work

So I walked away with nothing but a parking ticket from Portsmouth's dvmission 48 hour film challenge. Whilst it was mostly obvious why the winners were winners, there's still little opinion, feedback, or criticism going on (as far as I can tell). Why is everyone so afraid to say what they really mean? Sure, 48 hours is a great excuse to make a shitty movie and have some great fun doing it. But the compressed production time is also reflected in judging time, so if your movie doesn't stand out from the rest whilst still meeting the brief then you are toast. Pax Copia was toast.

In these types of events your movie really does need to make an impression. As a moviemaker I need more than not winning an award. I need some constructive criticism. As someone having a laugh making a short film in 48 hours I don't give a toss about the awards or constructive criticism. As an artist I find the backslapping patronising at best, and part of a global Bezel Corp funded conspiracy at worst.

I understand that there's just not enough time to appraise and critique 22 two minute movies in 2 hours. It's like sorting actor's headshots and CVs when casting. On first impression either bin it or put it on that really, really short shortlist. It needs to be short to be manageable. If you don't make that first impression, that door is closed and marketing psychology shows that it will remain closed.

So, this is my attempt to critique Pax Copia's production of "Golden 8" and learn from my terrible terrible mistakes. This can only make me stronger.

Where to start?

Let's start with the finished movie as submitted to the competition:

Now, obviously, you are seeing the movie out of context. Imagine having seen this is a sea of other 2 minute movies with the genre 'Weird Western' and entitled "Golden 8" or "Golden Eight" and listening out for the line of dialogue "Well, nobody's perfect". I think there's a reason that some other 48 hour movie making challenges hand out unique (but still randomly selected) criteria to each team. But I'm not here to talk about how the dvmission could have been organised, I'm here to learn how to make my next movie a better movie.

Within team Pax Copia itself, having seen all the movies screened relative to our own, we agreed on a few basic things:

1. We didn't go for the big laughs. It was pretty impressive how many laughs some of the other movies managed to squeeze into 2 minutes. Laughter is an emotion. Emotion is a winner. (They say in the feature film world that if your flick can evoke at least two emotions, then you are onto a winner).

2. Our idea was lazy. We should all know that our first idea is rarely our best. We only had one idea, we ran with it. We were lazy in the ideas factory.

3. Unsaid, but implied - we were classified as Pro Tech (using equipment that costs over £200) yet we had a distinctly Lo Tech result and were out-classed by many in the Lo Tech category. The winner of Pro Tech looked distinctly like it had originated on a higher definition camera, and from what I could tell they used zero production sound, opting instead for voice-over and spot sound effects. Shrewd move. Production values affect first impressions, like it or not.

4. Everyone enjoyed the shoot. Everyone learned something. Fun!

5. The boom was in shot. I never said directing and recording production sound was gonna be easy.

6. The frequency response and amplitude of the audio as presented in the venue was pretty mediocre. Much of my sound design was completely unheard, oh boo hoo.

7. I probably shouldn't have bothered to grade and sharpen the soft looking standard definition images from the Canon XL1. Probably just made it worse.

8. I really hate tape with a passion. I'm learning to hate the Canon XL1 equally (you'd think I would've learned after Ad Astra and Crooked Features ...)

Let's run it through my SUCCEED filter:

Simple (in concept, leads to a memorable log line)

YES.

Unexpected (because you don't want people falling asleep)

NO.

Concrete (some sort of grip on reality included to avoid being totally abstract and inaccessible)

NO.

Credible (within the fabric of the movie - you'll believe a man can fly, etc)

YES.

Emotional (they say if you can get laughter and tears you have a winner)

NO.

Extraordinary (more than ordinary: remarkable!)

NO.

Dynamite (will this movie explode in the audience's lap and have them talking afterwards)

NO.

We really were lazy weren't we?

I've also prepared versions of the movie as it went through the editing process, so you can appreciate what it took to get it this far.

Firstly, I took the most intelligible audio from the close-ups to use as my basis for the dialogue track:

Then I dropped in cutaways and inserts from other takes to make the conversation more pacey (at the same time as cutting approximately 30% totally in order to meet the two minute target). No time to get lip-sync perfect:

After which it was time to "paper over the cracks" by inserting room tone, additional crowd and bar effects (to disguise the existing broken background noise on the production soundtrack) and a spot of music to make things a bit more punchy:

So there you go. That's what it takes to win a parking ticket in Pompey.

My other main criticism of the movie is that the camera framing and composition is not on my wavelength. I gave the camera guy free reign, after all he's the expert and has his own aesthetic. I just don't think it's the way I would have chosen to shoot this movie, given more time. The dutch tilt doesn't look like it was done intentionally and keeping the full head in frame on a close-up is distinctly un-cinematic in my book. The boom is in shot because there is just so much headroom that I was just wasn't expecting. We really should've shot at 720p HD at minimum (though I'm not sure my MacBook has the chops to edit full 1080p HD - another test shoot in the waiting).

Staying positive I was really pleased to work again with Riyadh (the guy with the Nubian pan-galactic sniper assault rifle) and be introduced to Jack (the other guy with dialogue) and John (the zombie). They all took my direction really well and handled learning their lines in the back of Stan's car whilst travelling to location (the Auckland Arms) like champs. This really helped the speed of production.

Well, that's the end of my ramble and self-criticism. I'd love to hear your opinion, if you dare.

"The Fix" #2wkfilm Update: Winner, 2095

Scott Adams insists that there is no such thing as free will, and I'm beginning to agree. There's no doubt that to win the John Titor Award that my movie needs/had more care and attention in post production than the schedule [has] allowed. In 2095 "The Fix" is selected for, and wins, the John Titor Temporal Achievement Award (see above) which basically means the judges saw more than the rough-cut I've been able to throw together this last week (inbetween I-frame rendering and the worst bout of 'flu I've had in years). So, in order to prepare for the second genesis and singularity and the unstoppable rise of the Bezel Corporation I am gracefully disqualifying myself from the #2wkfilm challenge this time around: in order that I may produce the movie that is the talk of 2095. I'm told that "The Fix" is viewed in 2095 much as "Броненосец Потёмкин" has been viewed the last thirty years. Time really does tell. If you know how to ask.

This Winter, A Mind Is A Beautiful Thing To Taste #2wkfilm #fb

"The Fix". It's in the can after a hectic five day Monday to Friday shooting schedule. Final Cut Pro 7 is currently batch transcoding from the native Sanyo Xacti HD2000 AVC/H.264 720p to Apple Pro Res LT 1280x720. Started the job around 2pm this afternoon, it's 20% complete as I write. This means my rushes may not be in an edit friendly I-frame format until Tuesday. So, tomorrow evening I intend to do a paper edit assuming this 'flu doesn't get the better of me.

Let's SWOT the current status whilst I have a few minutes:

Strengths.

The visuals. There are some real treats in this, from the eye extraction to the time tunnelling fridge doors. I was amazed what a couple of blokes could achieve in a garage with two torches, a few glowsticks and a smoke machine. The production design and overall look is all down to Evil C and his virtual team. The bad camera work is down to me.

Weaknesses.

The production audio. I mean, look at that photo above. Recognise that mic sitting on top of the Xacti? No? Well let me tell you that, new, that mic in the Rycote Smoothie is worth £4,500. The Neumann RSM-191. And. It's. Sitting. On. Top. Of. The. Camera. Will I never learn? Well, it's not a matter of learning, it's a matter of crew availability and willingness to stoop to no-budget features. Not only was the mic not optimally positioned (although it has produced intelligible dialogue on a stereo sound stage) it's going into shitty camera pre-amps via a ridiculously tiny minijack and there was a tonne of handling noise I couldn't do squat about. If I ever get funded you can be sure that I'll at the very least get a boom-op employed. Until then - shit production audio. (Of course I am my worst critic when it comes to sound, what's shit to me could be fine for a lot of normal people).

Opportunities.

This flick has a higher than usual potential marketability compared to my usual fodder. This is mainly due to an agreement with Rennie Pilgrem helping out with the music, and he also makes an appearance in the movie. The two leads, Victoria Broom and Julian Nicholson are also becoming more widely known and bankable. Victoria is working opposite Steven Berkoff on Dead Cert and Julian is in the opening scene of Jack Said (amongst others) which Danny Dyer leads. Small acorns and all that.

Threats.

Until it's cut together I don't really know if I've got a piece of art or a piece of shit. I'm confident I'll be able to make a movie that I want to watch, but to date that hasn't always translated into mass appeal. The biggest threat is that people fall for Hollywood's insistence that audiences don't want to watch "small, personal" movies. Fuck that. I can't compete with Transformers 2 but, frankly, why would I want to. No, I'm not threatened by Hollywood. But their poisonous rhetoric is a threat to the sheeple which translates into docile consumers of entertainment too lazy to seek out anything that might expand their mind and shake their world view.

I was also really pleased that once more everyone told me how much they enjoyed working and/or that they learned something. It's that three element rule again:

1. Get paid (not a hope on my #2wkfilm)

2. Learn something

3. Have fun

One out of three isn't bad. Two out of three is pretty good going. Three out of three is pretty much unheard of.

"The Fix" should be cut together by 23:59 on October 25th.

Bezel Corp, 2095 #2wkfilm

Prepare your tinfoil hat. Bezel Corp broadcasting soon, in association with Network News Network. Your active parametric Q reality stabiliser never tasted so good.

Shiz I'm Diggin: Probots. And AudioFile Engineering's Wave Editor

Okay, first a little back story. I really dig Sound Guy's SFX Pro (especially the filter that makes all human speech sound like a probot from The Empire Strikes Back). However to my absolute horror I discovered that the current version does not show up in Apple's Soundtrack Pro FCS3 version. How was I going to do probots now? I needed a wave editor, and I needed one now. The choices seemed to be:

1. Garage Band - it ships with every new Mac. But it's kind of kludgey has a silly faux wooden interface and is really geared to, well, garage bands (and podcasting).

2. Freeverse Sound Studio - this one almost had me with its slick interface and quick loadingness. Definitely a contender.

3. Amadeus Pro - didn't do it for me, although I know it's very popular. I don't go with the flow, I go with what I know, and what I know is that this one wasn't for me - it's not expensive though.

4. Audacity - for free, how could it be beat? Well, I've been burned by Audacity quite a few times, it's great in a pinch but not stable enough for me.

5. ProTools - any version, overkill with its dongle. I just want to edit the odd wave file and apply probot fx. Pricey.

6. Bias Peak - too much laurel sitting and not within my price range either.

7. Wave Editor - back in an earlier incarnation I criticised it for being too complex, but a promising equivilent to Sound Forge on OS X. Well I checked it out in demo mode. Liked it this time around. Then found it's available for the ridiculous price of $80 - with the current exchange rate being something like $1.50 to £1.00 I snapped it up for the equivalent price of a tank of diesel (less, actually). Impulse buy! Perfect!

And make no mistake, Wave Editor is a powerful tool. It may just end up replacing Soundtrack Pro as my choice of wave editor and processor because frankly, Soundtrack Pro is still a pain in the ass and now I can't even do probots with it.

Don't Panic

I know I haven't posted in a while. There's reasons for that, everything from family admin to server admin to screenwriting by the seat of my pants for #2wkfilm. The two week film is now tentatively titled (perhaps subtitled) "The Consumption of Marius Čapek". Since the initial production meeting we've actually made very little progress on pre-production (you know, organising things like actors, locations and logistics) because, well, we just didn't have a shootable script for one reason or another:

1. "Foolslaughter". A great idea for a slasher with a psychological twist. Unwriteable in the timeframe due to everyone having pesky day jobs. I wrote about 20 pages of a first draft and it got compared to Kill Bill.

2. "48 Inches" versus "Friendship On A Knife Edge". When it was apparent Foolslaughter was going nowhere fast enough to shoot by the end of October, I dug into the script crypt and pulled out these two contenders. Neither are written by me but they are both achievable within certain parameters. Unfortunately one couldn't make it for October for casting reasons and the other couldn't make it for October for location reasons. Throw in the fact that no one is producing full time and it's not a surprise that these two remain in Preproduction Hell.

3. A totally off the cuff idea to create an animation to counter my idea of filming my compost heap for an hour. Great, but we still don't have a script for it and didn't have time to write something that I "might" like.

4. So, the first week of September getting a bit panicky. Start bouncing ideas around again. Serendipity walks in and an old art school friend of mine shows up - of all places - on Twitter. We get together, he's into production design, photography, strobist inspired lighting and whacky Asian inspired storylines and has keys to Ealing studios. Someone gives me a catalyst of "what if this guy is trying to get his severed finger across town" and a treatment is born. Initially I would have described the treatment as Blade Running in contemporary England but now I'd say it's more ... well, just more. We have 27 scenes which we're adding to all the time, we have a beginning and an ending, slowly the pieces are falling into place. Not sure at this time if we will base the production locally around Denmead and Portsmouth or go more towards my art school friend's double-garage and Ealing backlot. The lead is confirmed, he's captive from Spain and has flights booked, so worst case scenario it's a sixty minute monologue ;-)

All in all I'm a lot more positive we've raised the ambition within achievable limits and will have something visually, aurally and editorially interesting. You'll find out at the end of October, won't you.

I do babble a lot more on Twitter because it's easy and, frankly, I'm a lazy blogger.

Found: Bruce Campbell, "Lead Don't Follow"

Firstly a message to the litigators: I claim no ownership over the above image nor the presented recording. I don't even know if the two are related, but I do know it's a picture of Bruce Campbell and a recording of him speaking (some time in 2002 judging by the list of film titles he reels off). If you are the copyright holder on either (of if you are Bruce Campbell) and want them removed, just say the word - and another gem of knowledge and insight will be lost to the masses.

Anyway, if you can take 47 minutes to listen to this recording I think you'll either learn something or have what you do know corroborated. Either way, it's all good, right?

Bruce Campbell, "Lead Don't Follow" by miker71


And if you do happen to have more information about either the recording or the pic - leave attribution in the comments, cheers!